K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n miktar\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tesirleri a\u011f\u0131rla\u015f\u0131r. \u0130\u015fte bizzat ya da e\u015fi k\u0131skan\u00e7 olanlar\u0131n yapmas\u0131 gerekenler?<\/p>\n
Gen\u00e7-ya\u015fl\u0131 , kad\u0131n-erkek her biri ya\u015fam\u0131nda en az bir kere k\u0131skan\u0131r. A\u015f\u0131k olunan bireyin ba\u015fkas\u0131na alaka g\u00f6stermesi, \u015f\u00fcphe uyand\u0131ran davran\u0131\u015flar, aldatma… K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k hem k\u0131skan\u00e7 ki\u015finin, hem \u00a0k\u0131skan\u0131lan\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 zehir edebilir. BBC, herkesin a\u015fina oldu\u011fu bu duyguyu ara\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Ara s\u0131ra yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olan k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k, bir ili\u015fkinin i\u015flek kalmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayabilir. Fakat , huzursuz edici ve ak\u0131l d\u0131\u015f\u0131 boyutlara eri\u015fti\u011finde , \u00e7ok zarar verebilmektedir . K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n etkilerini hafifletmek ama\u00e7l\u0131 yap\u0131labilecekler var.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u0130li\u015fki psikoterapisti Paula Hall, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n etkilerini azaltman\u0131n sab\u0131r ve gayret gerektirdi\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. Herkesin k\u0131skanma sebepleri ve hissettikleri de\u011fi\u015fik olabilir. Psikolog Ayala Malach a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k, ‘varolan bir a\u015fka, ili\u015fkiye ya da onun kalitesine y\u00f6nelik tehdide bir tepki’? G\u0131pta ve hasetten ayr\u0131 olarak daima \u00fc\u00e7 birey ve ma\u011flubiyet korkusu vard\u0131r. K\u0131skanan birey pek\u00e7ok duyguyu ayn\u0131 zamanda ya\u015far, akl\u0131ndan bin \u00e7e\u015fitli fikir ge\u00e7er, \u00e7ok \u00e7e\u015fitli tutum bi\u00e7imleri sergiler.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Duygular: Ac\u0131, k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131k, kin, h\u00fcz\u00fcn , haset, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc , a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lanma.<\/p>\n
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler: \u0130\u00e7erleme, su\u00e7lama, kendini rakiple mukayese, \u00a0kendine merhamet, imaj\u0131n sars\u0131lmas\u0131ndan korkma.<\/p>\n
Davran\u0131\u015flar: Kendini yorgun hissetmek, bir \u00e7ok kez sual sormak ve kar\u015f\u0131ndakinden bir \u00e7ok kez garanti talep etmek, titremek ve terlemek, agresif davran\u0131\u015flar, \u00fcstelik kaba kuvvet .<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00d6ld\u00fcr\u00fcr de, Diriltir de<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k dozunda oldu\u011fu m\u00fcddet\u00e7e, var meydana gelen bir ili\u015fkinin savunmas\u0131n\u0131 dahi sa\u011flayabilir. Ki\u015filere, sevgililerinin, e\u015flerinin \u00e7antada keklik olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlat\u0131r. Kar\u015f\u0131ndakine \u00e7aba vermeye, onun kendisini k\u0131ymetli hissetmesi ama\u00e7l\u0131 gayret g\u00f6stermeye y\u00f6neltir. \u00dcstelik hissiyatlar\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lendirir, a\u015fk\u0131n ate\u015flenmesini olana\u011f\u0131 sa\u011flar ve sevi\u015fmeleri ek olarak ihtirasl\u0131 k\u0131lar. Ama bir de a\u015fk\u0131n dozunda meydana gelmedi\u011fi vaziyetler var…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bazen k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131kta \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fc ka\u00e7ar. S\u00f6zgelimi e\u015fi eski bir dostuyla dans etmesinden bir adam d\u00f6v\u00fc\u015f \u00e7\u0131karabilir ya da bayan e\u015finin yeni patronu ho\u015f ve g\u00fczel bir bayan oldu\u011fu ama\u00e7l\u0131 \u00e7ileden \u00e7\u0131kar. \u0130\u015fte bu stil k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131klar gerginlik yarat\u0131r. Kar\u015f\u0131daki, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011fa mahal vermemek ama\u00e7l\u0131 bir\u00e7ok kez dikkatli davranmak, tetikte olmak zorunda hisseder. Vaziyetin fark\u0131nda meydana gelen k\u0131skan\u00e7 ki\u015fi ise kendini su\u00e7lama ve hakl\u0131 g\u00f6stermek aras\u0131nda gidip gelir.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nas\u0131l Ba\u015f\u00a0Edilir?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beraber olan ki\u015filere bazen hayat\u0131 zehir eden, ayr\u0131lmalar\u0131na bile neden olan k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k duygusuyla ba\u015f etmek asl\u0131nda pek de kolay de\u011fildir. Epey bir s\u00fcre ve \u00e7aba gerektiren bir u\u011fra\u015f olabilmektedir. \u015eayet, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7ocuklu\u011funuzda ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan kaynakland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsan\u0131z, bir psikolo\u011fa ba\u015fvurman\u0131zda fayda var.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00c7ocuklu\u011funuzla alakal\u0131 ba\u011f kuram\u0131yorsan\u0131z o halde \u015fu noktalar\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irmeniz yararl\u0131 olabilir? K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irin. Onu neden k\u0131skand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. Hakikaten ili\u015fkinize y\u00f6nelik bir tehdit mevzubahis mi? Sizin tav\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131z ili\u015fkinizi k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015fmesine neden mi?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Kendi kendinizi g\u00f6zlemleyin. K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k bulgular\u0131 hissetti\u011finizde partnerinizin sizi sevdi\u011fini, sizlere ili\u015fkili oldu\u011funu ve sizlere h\u00fcrmet duydu\u011funu an\u0131msay\u0131n. Sevilmeye lay\u0131k, g\u00fczel bir birey oldu\u011funuzu ve ayk\u0131r\u0131 giden bir \u015feylerin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyin kendi kendinize.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n E\u015finiz sizlere g\u00f6z a\u00e7t\u0131rm\u0131yorsa…<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Olaya \u00e7e\u015fitli bir a\u00e7\u0131dan yakla\u015f\u0131n. K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131n belirtisi oldu\u011funu an\u0131msay\u0131n. An\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmaya ge\u00e7mektense, onu anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n.<\/p>\n Kendi davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irin. Baz\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z partnerinizin sizi k\u0131skanmas\u0131na kap\u0131 aralad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsan\u0131z, bu davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n.<\/p>\n Verdi\u011finiz s\u00f6zleri tutun, tutamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z s\u00f6zleri vermeyin.<\/p>\n Onun g\u00fcvenini geli\u015ftirin. Ona, onu ne kadar sevdi\u011finizi belli etmek i\u00e7in her imkan\u0131 de\u011ferlendirin. Onu neden sevdi\u011finizi anlat\u0131n. \u0130ltifat edin, hayallerinizi payla\u015f\u0131n.<\/p>\n Bu konuyu onunla konu\u015fmay\u0131 deneyin. Yine sonu\u00e7 alamazsan\u0131z birlikte bir uzman psikologdan yard\u0131m alabilirsiniz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n miktar\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tesirleri a\u011f\u0131rla\u015f\u0131r. \u0130\u015fte bizzat ya da e\u015fi k\u0131skan\u00e7 olanlar\u0131n yapmas\u0131 gerekenler? Gen\u00e7-ya\u015fl\u0131 , kad\u0131n-erkek her biri ya\u015fam\u0131nda en az bir kere k\u0131skan\u0131r. A\u015f\u0131k olunan bireyin ba\u015fkas\u0131na alaka g\u00f6stermesi, \u015f\u00fcphe uyand\u0131ran davran\u0131\u015flar, aldatma… K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k hem k\u0131skan\u00e7 ki\u015finin, hem \u00a0k\u0131skan\u0131lan\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 zehir edebilir. BBC, herkesin a\u015fina oldu\u011fu bu duyguyu ara\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Ara s\u0131ra yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8158,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[601,600,602],"class_list":["post-8157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kisisel-gelisim-2","tag-cinsellik","tag-kiskanclik","tag-yasam"],"yoast_head":"\n